I visited a wheel-chair bound friend the other day in his home. He was alone in the house. Everything has been prepared and provided for by the son and daughter-in-law before they leave for work. He has just to manage to put eat the food or just go down to the field to interact with anyone there if he feels like it.

Yet, he laments that he has become a useless person and has to depend on others to survive. He confides that he has thought of dying many times but does not have the courage to end his life!

I did some counselling work and reminded him that death is not the solution. He is still young. He can build his hope to see his grand children, another generation. He laughed!

“Actually, why can’t we take our own life?” he asked me very frankly. It is a very difficult and complex question to answer. “We are not hurting or killing others but only ourselves! When we do not like to keep our very old pets, we usually take them to the vet to let them sleep peaceful rather than seeing them suffering each day! So, why can’t we end our own lives? We are not asking another person to kill us but we do it ourselves!”

“So, we become our own murderer! Is that what you want?” I countered.

It was a very long session. Finally, I managed to help him see the positive side of staying alive. I am happy that his depression has been lifted.

When I share this story to another friend, he told me< "Those people who contemplate suicide will not voice it. They will keep it to themselves. And when the time comes, they will act upon it! Those who voice their intention are actually crying out for help and advice. They are not muddled up. They need guidance to see the other side of life and will feel better when they are able to come to terms with their present situation!"

Well, is it a sad state of affairs – when we want to die, we cannot die? To those who suffer fatal diseases will reply – when we do not want to die, why must we die? What will God say to each of them? I just wonder……


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